It may come as a surprise to you but Jessica Johnson is not my maiden name.

Two and a half years after the divorce, I still bare my married name.  It is a choice I made during the divorce process and I have never once regretted it. I’m sure everyone has their opinion about this but the only one that truly matters is mine. In light of my new blog, using my married name I wanted to share the reasons why I decided not to change my name back following the divorce.

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I became someone else the day I married him.  

We started a new chapter together as man and wife. Marriage changes you. You leave behind single life and become part of a partnership, even if that partnership doesn’t last. I can’t go back to who I was before him, so why would I go back to the same name.  I will never be the same person again so this name is part of my identity and just another part of my path. As such it didn’t feel right to change my name back as though it never happened. Changing my name back will not automatically make me the same person I was before marriage.

I didn’t want people to know my marriage had failed. 

Stupid huh considering I wrote an entire blog about it and openly shared it with the world. But in the beginning, as we separated I desperately wanted to keep up the facade. I didn’t want everyone to think I was a failure. I didn’t want the pity and the questions. I guess I felt like if I kept my name the same everything else may stay the same too. Dumb I know but denial is the first stage of grief.

I like being JJ.  

I realize this is very trivial but it’s true. Very simple but I like the name. My therapist and I talked a little about the name change last week and she said I could change it to anything. I actually have been thinking a little bit about maybe just picking a new J last name. But that also seems a little trivial.

That’s it. Those are my reasons. So I guess for now I’m keeping the name as is. 

Inquiring minds need to know, did you get your name changed back?